Vanilla Dome.

It took me so long to finish Vanilla Dome that I forgot what happened in the first two levels. I might actually have to keep notes if this is how it's going to continue. It is also possible that I was just so traumatized by such levels as the ghost house, the bullet level and the castle that I blanked out everything previously.

So the ghost house. If any gamers reading this were already surprised with that fact that one person can suck so hard at Mario, prepare yourselves. I didn't know giant boos existed. I was fully prepared for the small, regular size boos, but not the huge giant boo that killed me at least 3 times. I also didn't know that they stop following you if you look at them, but if you are facing the other way, they eventually catch up and kill you. That also took an unfortunately long time to figure out as well. And these green bubbles that look like floating peas? Ran me off the edge about 20 times. I also cycled through the whole level about 3 times before Joe put me out of my misery and told me I was going through the wrong door. I need to keep an eye out for that stuff.

I managed to keep Yoshi for vanilla dome 3 and made it through the level really easy. And then, I met the bullet level, and it raped me in the face. "THERE ARE BULLETS EVERYWHERE!" I remember hysterically shrieking as I put all my Mario practice to the test dodging vertical and horizontal bullets left right and center. Joe just responded, "Shit just got real" and turned over. I am pretty sure that he doesn't really want to watch me play anymore, but he can't help it, like watching a car crash. So he sits and watches until he can't take it anymore, and says mean stuff like, "we should get you a different game called, counting to 3. I think you'd pwn that....maybe".

But he was right, shit did get real. Who is this little wizard guy, and who invited him to the castle? He ranks right up there with the baseball guy as the bane of my existence. The worst thing is though, is that once you finally get past him, you have to get past the moving rocks and the lava, and then after THAT, you have to beat the boss. I lost count as to how many times I died, but it took me 2 nights to beat that stupid castle. TWO NIGHTS. Is this really how castles are going to be from now on? Cause I don't like it. I thought I'd be getting better while playing, getting practice and learning the levels, but I'm still making the same stupid mistakes that I made when I first started. Does it ever get better? EVER???

Donut Plains

I'd like to say that it took so long to complete donut plains because I was away for the weekend indulging in such concerts as Britney Spears and Marilyn Manson, however it's no excuse. Minus the weekend, it still took 4 evenings and an entire day I acquired due to Bronchitis and a sinus infection to actually get through this second world. I should have had an idea I would have trouble with this though starting with the first level, as I had the most epic battle known to man with the dude who throws baseballs. Why is he there? In a world where there are flying turtles and other scary looking monsters who'd have thought that a dude throwing baseballs would be the biggest pain in the ass? 5 times I battled him, just to lose in the following sequence:
grab mushroom, grow big.
hit baseball, shrink.
grab new mushroom, grow big!
hit baseball, shrink.
try and escape, hit another baseball, die.
5 times, and this isn't even that far into the level. but I toughed it out, only to have to conquer what I will forever refer to as donut hell, donut plains 2.
First of all any level that scrolls will automatically force my to my death at least 10 times. So as if that's not bad enough, they threw in these stupid green parrots that are the bane of my existence. Why are there tropical parrots in a cave, anyway? At one point after dying for the umpteenth time I screamed, "These parrots are from HELL!", only to have Joe respond, "would you say they are HELLrots?"
after that level though, things seemed to go a little bit smoother. Still it took an incredibly embarrassing amount of time to complete, but the second castle was also beat in only 2 deaths! I also got that not so secret top secret area that gives me Yoshi and lives at my beck and call. Even with that available, I am feeling like this could be a painful experience that I am going to be excited when finished. And considering the last thing Joe said last night before bed was "watching you play Mario is like being water boarded", I think he'll be glad to move on too.
Next up is Vanilla Dome, and god help me if it takes longer then a week.

Yoshi's Island

So I may have severely overestimated how long it will actually take me to get through Mario World, as I got through Yoshi's Island last night in 2 hours. However, thats a lot for world 1 isn't it? I've been hearing I should have breezed through it in half an hour, max. Oh well, I beat my first castle, all by myself! Want the run down?

yoshi's island 1: easy peasy, no deaths

yoshi's island 2: lemon squeezy, no deaths.

yoshi's island 3: humiliation begins...

Joe could hardly contain his giggles (manly giggles, very manly giggles) as I died time after time trying to jump on stupid Yoshi after losing him. At one point I jumped over Yoshi and into a hole, only to force Joe to scream, "Erin! you're the worst!EVER!"

However, after finally beating that level, with NO help I might add, I beat the castle with only 1 death at the boss. I thought that was pretty good, no?

As I continue on, I am supposed to remember 2 things (Joe drilled these into my head out of pure frustration I think):

-don't worry about missed coins or missed bad guys (I tend to chase after things, and then die.)

-hold down the B button ALL THE TIME. (this is actually harder for me then you would imagine. See, I have these thumbs, that kind of look like toes, conveniently nicknamed toethumbs...the more I try playing video games that expect too much thumb movement, the more I blame my video game shortcomings on this handicap.)

Before I continue on with Mario World, however, I will be taking a break to play Beatles Rock Band that just came out, because it's awesome. Rockband is one of those games though, that I don't think you'll ever see me writing about on this blog to master, because I'm already pretty good. Not awesome, but I can hold my own. Just sayin'.

the beginning.

I'm not quite sure when video games entered my life, but it was definitely long enough ago that anyone putting the effort in would be somewhat decent. I never really thought about it either, until the other night when it was brought to my attention by my loving boyfriend Joe, that I really really suck at Super Mario World.
It all started out fun and games. I picked up my DS for a level or two before bed, when the sound of poor Mario's deaths caught joe's attention.
"my god, you suck at Mario." he said after watching me die on the second level for about the fifth time.
"Shut up, I've never been that great at Mario." I responded just as I fell to my death once again.
"My God, you're like the worst! How can you not be good at Mario? My little sister is better at Mario then you!"
At this point Joe took control of the DS to show me how it's done.
"Hey, butthead, watch this, this is how to NOT die..."
But thats when it kind of hit me: How can I ever get better at gaming if I can't even master a classic game like Super Mario World? And this blog was born.

The point of this blog is to chronicle my journey from novice gamer to expert gamer. from noob to teh pwnzorz. Any game will do, I will play through it, then blog it. Of course there will have to be a time line, but I guess that will have to depend on what game I decide to tackle at the time. The first game I will play through, obviously enough, will be Super Mario World. I will beat a world a week, and report on my success, or possible failure. Hopefully once I am done that, I will have some suggestions on the next game to get into for my quest to expertise.